Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday Food - or 'How to unintentionally offend'

I have a feeling that someone somewhere will take offence at this post.  I usually talk about a food that I enjoy in a post like this, but today I was reminded of two of my least favourite foods.

Think about pastry.  There are various types, and well made they are delicious whether used for sweet or savoury dishes.  However, when it is badly made it is more than offence to the taste buds!  We don't eat pastry very often but when we do it is usually shortcrust, and I make it - well, by the way, however, I have memories of very bad pastry, and I want to tell you about those now.

My earliest recollection of bad pastry was when I was at school.  I usually went home for lunch, but for reasons I don't need to go into now I always had to have lunch at school on a Friday.  This may not seem a problem at first, but now let me tell you that I went to a convent school - and no meat was served on Friday.  In fact, there was only one dish that was ever served on Friday and that was cheese and potato pie....  We were all convinved that is it was really potato, flour and water pie because there was never any evidence of cheese (it may well have lived on the shelf next to the flour, in retrospect) and the pastry was the hardest most disgusting flour and water crust you have ever seen.  We weren't allowed to leave anything on our plates, so we took it in turns to secrete a bag into the dining room so that we could dispose of  the offending 'pie'.  We would leave the dining room with the 'bag holder' suitably surrounded by the rest of the class, and we didn't get caught once!

I have the same feeling about cornish pasties.  I have never tasted a good one.  One of the problems is the onion.  Onion that is not previously cooked but steamed within a casing is really unpleasant, however the pastry adds nothing to the combination as it is always so thick and hard.  There is a well known brand that is advertised regularly on television and once, a very very long time ago, I was given one to eat.  Memories of that one bite is enough to make me heave, and seeing a well known chef prepare one on TV in a recent re-run brought back all the old horror, even the picture of the finished dish did nothing to alleviate my distress.

So, if I am coming to dinner - please don't serve me cheese and potato pie, even if it is well made - and definitely don't offer me a cornish pasty, well made or not.



On a Whimsey said...

Ooooh the days of school in a convent! When I went there was.... boiled fish and potatoes on Friday followed by date pudding.... disgusting! I still remember how the smell of the fish permeated everything! Yuk!

MagdaleneJewels said...

Oh those Catholic school days. No meat on Friday - I swore I would grow up to be a tuna fish.
Who knew what ever concoction they would come up with - I don't even think they lunch ladies knew what they were serving. And yes, we devised many ways of disposing of whatever it was that was on our plate. I still can't even stand the smell of fish sticks!

kasia | szkieuka said...

funny! I was reading the first part of your post and thought "aah pasties"... and then the second portion was about that very invention!
I do not understand the appeal of pasties, either... we traveled last September to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan, and one of the restaurants there supposedly serves the best pasties in the whole state.
Well, if THIS was the best, I don't know what the not-best tastes... we actually threw them away after a few bites.
Now, we are really low-maintenance, camping, sleep-wherever, eat-whatever people, but that undercooked, greasy, tasteless item was not edible.
We went back to the campsite and had some sausages instead :) And the whole area was just lovely, so it turned out to be a great trip anyway. Just no more pasties, EVER :)

kay susan said...

Oh, I'm with you! In our younger, hard-up days, I used to make cheese and potato pie,(it made a change from egg and chips!) but it had lots of cheese, a lovely, spiky, crunchy, cheesy topping and NO LUMPS in the potato. As for those 'authentic' cornish pasties - it's not just the onion that's nasty, it's also that grey paste that passes for meat. YUK!

Splendid Little Stars said...

LOL! disgusting!
I remember squirreling away food in a similar manner in my youth, but not as a group effort.

J.B. said...

Being a carb lover, I started out thinking I had never met a pastry that I didn't like but now I realize I don't like commercial pie crust. I prefer homemade especially with whole grain flour.
I never heard of a Cornish pastry, I guess that's a good thing.
I have tried some pastries that I decided were not worth the calories.
Your post was fun to read and think about.

memoriesforlifescrapbooks said...

LOL! I take no offense...but I loved the stories :)

storybeader said...

I'm not a big one on pastry either - give me a bowl of ice cream, and I'm in 7th heaven! {:-D